Marriage
By Dr. Rajendra Prasad
About The Author:
Rajendra Prasad, one of the chief architects of modern India, became the nation’s first President. He also served as the President of the Constituent Assembly and twice held the post of Congress President, in 1939 and 1943. His writings are marked by simplicity and clarity.
Summary:
The writer recalls his childhood marriage, which was arranged when Rajendra Prasad was just 13 years old. The bride’s father and his younger brother, a lawyer, visited their house to see the boy and asked him a few questions. They were satisfied and approved of the proposal. Soon after, the engagement (Tilak) ceremony was held. Although Rajendra’s father did not wish to receive gifts, customs demanded otherwise, and so the bride’s father sent clothes, utensils, and Rs. 2,000 in cash.
At that time, Rajendra’s family was in financial difficulty. Their zamindari was giving little profit due to famine, expenses were rising, deaths in the family had added to their troubles, and a court case was draining resources. Yet, Rajendra’s father did not lose courage. To protect the family’s prestige, he decided that the wedding would be grand. He spent freely on ornaments and other items of display.
According to family tradition, the wedding procession was large. It included one elephant, some horses, several palkis, his father, his brother, and other relatives. Rajendra himself rode in a special silver palki. His brother came on a strong horse, and the rest of the party sat in palkis carried by bearers. The hot winds of summer made the palki-bearers’ job even more difficult.
The bride’s village was two days away. The wedding party halted at a village by the Sarju River for the night. Next morning, they had to cross the river by boat. But the problem arose with the elephant—it refused to swim across. The mahout and others tried tying it to the boats, but the animal resisted. It moved forward a little only to step back. After a long struggle, they had to leave it behind. Rajendra’s father felt upset because, according to him, no procession looked complete without elephants. He remembered his own wedding, which had dozens of them. He wished the same for his son’s marriage.
Fortunately, his wish was granted when elephants from another wedding joined them later after an agreement with the mahouts. The procession continued at a quick pace and reached the bride’s house late at night, around 11 p.m. The bride’s family had been anxiously waiting and worried about the delay. At first, they felt disappointed because the groom’s procession did not seem as grand as they expected. But soon, their spirits lifted when they saw the ornaments, clothes, sweets, and other gifts brought by Rajendra’s family.
Rajendra Prasad himself later reflected on his marriage. For him, as a teenager, it felt no more serious than a dolls’ marriage. He could not understand its importance or responsibility. He had no choice in the matter and simply performed whatever rituals the Pandit and female members of his family instructed. To him, the only difference was that, like his sister-in-law, another young woman had now joined the family as his wife.
He also explained the custom of Duragman. Often, after the wedding, the bride did not immediately go to the groom’s house. Some time later, a smaller party would fetch her. This happened in his case too—after staying two days in the bride’s house, Rajendra returned home, and his wife came only after a year.
The strict purdah system was observed in his family. His sister-in-law had to live in seclusion. She could only talk to her two maidservants who had come with her. She was confined to her room and not allowed to enter the verandah. Only the cook and young boy-servants, accompanied by their mothers, could enter the courtyard. When she went to the bathroom, the maids held up bedsheets on both sides to cover her. She would not even show her face to Rajendra’s mother, aunt, or sister when they came to her room. No maidservant of Zeradei village was permitted to visit her. As a child, Rajendra had seen her face only once or twice. The same strict customs applied to his own wife as well.
Unit – 1
Q1. How was the author’s marriage finalised?
Answer:
When the author was thirteen and in the fifth class, the bride’s father and his brother came to his house with a marriage proposal. They asked him a few questions and then gave their consent. A few days later, the engagement ceremony (Tilak) took place. Even though the author’s father did not want gifts, he received clothes, utensils, and Rs. 2,000 in cash. This is how the marriage was fixed.
Q2. What idea of the ritual of Tilak do you get from the passage?
The Tilak is an important marriage ritual. Once a marriage is settled, the bride’s father sends gifts such as clothes, utensils, and money to the groom’s house.
Q3. What was the financial condition of the author’s family? Did it affect the pomp and show of the author’s wedding?
Answer:
The financial condition of the family was very weak. Famine reduced farm income, family deaths increased expenses, and a pending court case brought difficulties. Even then, the wedding was celebrated with pomp and show because family prestige mattered most to the author’s father. He spent freely on ornaments and other items despite their financial stress.
Unit – 2
Q1. How does the author describe his marriage party?
Answer:
The marriage procession (baraat) was quite large. It had one elephant, some horses, and many palkis (palanquins). The author came in a special silver palki. His brother rode a horse while his father and other relatives sat in palkis. Strong winds blew the canopy of the palki, making it hard for bearers to carry. After resting one night in a village and crossing a river the next morning, they reached the bride’s house at 11 p.m. The journey was 40 miles long.
Q2. Why was the author’s father unhappy? How was his wish fulfilled?
Answer:
The one elephant in the party was asked to swim across the river but refused. So, the procession had to move on without it. The author’s father felt sad because, unlike his own wedding where many elephants were present, here not even one male elephant joined. Later, his wish was fulfilled when more elephants, returning from another marriage, joined their party. Their mahouts helped his father a lot.
Unit – 3
Q1. What are the author’s remarks on his marriage?
Answer:
The author was still a teenager when he married. He barely remembered the ceremonies and felt it was like playing a children’s game, similar to doll marriages. He did not understand the meaning or responsibility of marriage. He only followed what the Pandit and family women asked him to do. The only clear thing to him was that, like his sister-in-law, another woman had now joined their family as his wife.
Q2. How does the author describe the ritual of Duragman?
Answer:
Duragman is a custom where, after the wedding, the bride does not immediately go to the groom’s house. Some time later, a small group goes to bring her. This happened with the author too. After spending two days at the bride’s house, the groom’s party returned. One year later, the bride finally came to live in the author’s home.
Q3. How does he narrate the custom of purdah observed by his sister-in-law?
Answer:
The author’s sister-in-law had to follow the purdah system strictly. She could only talk with the two maidservants who came with her. She stayed inside her room and could not step into the verandah. Only cooks or very young boy servants (with their mothers) were allowed inside the courtyard. When she went to bathe, two maids covered her with bedsheets on either side. She even hid her face from the author’s mother, aunt, and sister. No maidservant from another family was allowed to visit her room.